I am the Cheese (my apologies Cormier)

I have a horrible time with long-term memory. After years of waiting tables my brain seems to have morphed itself into this amazing short-term memory machine, but I have a hard time conjuring up memories from my distant past. I do, however, recall this dreadful game we used to play quite often in elementary school, “The Farmer in the Dell”. Surely you recall it. A “farmer” is chosen and he stands in the middle of a circle of children proudly singing, The farmer takes a wife, the farmer takes a wife, hi-ho the derrio! The farmer takes a wife. Said wife joins her hubby in the circle, then the wife chooses a child, the child a bevy of pets, and on and on and on. I always LOATHED the game because it always ended so sadly. Once the chorus sings about the mouse choosing the cheese, there is no one left so suddenly the song changes to, The cheese stands alone, the cheese stands alone… You get the picture. The poor stinkin’ cheese!

These last couple of years have been much like that game for me. Not so long ago, I had this beautiful spiritual community, a fellowship of believers who were not only passionate about Jesus, but committed to actually living the way he told us to live. They are beautiful, wonderful people and I am blessed beyond belief to have them in my life. Through circumstances beyond any of our control, slowly but surely God has been geographically displacing them from my life, picking them up one at a time and moving them through time and space across which a relationship of close proximity just cannot be replicated.

I have done a fairly decent job, I think, of keeping my wits about me thus far. I am a Christian. I know that God is purposeful and loving and that I need not know the destination to take part in the journey. And, God created me so he knows that I need to catch an occasional glimpse out the window, to see his handiwork so to speak, if I’m going to stay on the bus. So far, so good. I am no longer just the stinkin’ cheese.

I must confess, however, that I have been struggling these last few months. I have never felt more alien, more displaced than I have of late. Don’t get me wrong. He has still provided me with an occasional glimpse of the big picture and he has seated me next to a beautiful soul or two along the way to sustain me, but it has not been a smooth ride. Where once I was a part of a beautiful community of people who felt the same way, who prayed the same way, who read the same words in the Bible that sustained me, I have felt about as welcome lately as, well, an Obama Mama at a Patriots Tea Party.

For months a subversive force has been at work to oust me from the church I attend. Initially I clung to the passage in 2 Timothy (2:23-24) where Paul writes, “Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.” I continued to teach openly about the message that Jesus brought, and about the love and community and respect in the church in Acts. I sought to actually live a life that taught the same message by example. I prayed every day that hearts would be softened (including my own if need be) and that the people who were slandering and, for lack of a better word, harassing me would come to see the light of day. They have not. I cannot lie, it hurts. Worse still, it is wearing me down.

I have made numerous attempts at unity and harmony within the church because I think that every disagreement is another chink in the armor, another Achilles heel exposed for Satan to attack. More egregious still are the missed opportunities to witness to nonbelievers because we’re tied up with petty and ridiculous arguments that have absolutely NOTHING to do with God’s message. I am relatively confident in the fact that it is quite an important topic to God as well—In all my reading (and believe me, I have been seeking) he spends a great deal more time addressing unity in the church than either Heaven or Hell. The fact of the matter is, there is nothing that makes Satan’s job easier than disunity in the body of Christ.

It is very easy to turn and run when you have been pummeled. I do not, however, believe that is what Jesus intended us to do when he taught us to turn the other cheek. I believe he wants us to look our abuser in the eye so they see our humanity. I believe he wants us to love them and lovingly remind them that THIS is not the fight we are to be fighting, our energies are better spent on bigger fights. I believe Titus 2:15-3:1, "These, then, are the things you should teach. Encourage and rebuke with all authority. Do not let anyone despise you. Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good.” We are not a perfect people, even the most well-intentioned believers can be misguided. We are nevertheless fully responsible for protecting the body of Christ when others would seek to harm it.